Why Compassion Isn't 'Being Nice'.

It's more than that.

It is usually stated, or assumed, that compassion is a good thing. And it is - obviously. But what is overlooked about it, as with empathy in general, is that it comes with a price tag. It’s not just ‘being nice’.

The root of the word compassion is ‘suffering with’. To experience compassion is not simply to provide sympathy for someone. It is to hurt alongside someone. It is not cute and fluffy. It has an edge.

Most people, at least the ones with children, when asked what’s the worst that could happen to them, they would answer ‘ to witness my children suffer’. I don’t believe in the trope ‘you’re only as happy as your unhappiest child’. That doesn’t take into account ordinary human selfishness. But to see your child in pain- or anyone you love, including , I suppose, pets as well as friends - is a v special kind of suffering. A healthy pain, I suppose you could call it. Although far from pleasant, it is, unlike toothache, a pain you would not wish to manage without..

I am not a Christian, at least not in the literal sense, but what is sometimes forgotten about Jesus is that he didn’t merely suffer on the cross. He suffered for others. Their pain was his pain. He took on an impossible burden - to feel compassion not just for another person, but for the entire world. Only a god would be capable for such a thing, and perhaps in being asked to emulate him, the church founded on his birth and death asks too much of us, even if we happen to believe that Jesus is our saviour. Which, as it happens, I do not. But I certainly admired his ambition.